I’m back in a relationship again, after a long and sad divorce, but my heart is still protected. I’m not the same carefree, fun loving girl I once was. I’m not bitter, just more aware and cautious. Is this new person the right fit for my lifestyle and my personality? Can we both learn from each other and compliment each others lives?
Even though it’s been years since my divorce, I’m reminded of the heartache and the pain. Loving someone so much that your heart hurts. Trusting that they will communicate if there are problems in the relationship. And, living in a fantasy that your relationship will stand the test of time. People do have successful marriages and long standing relationships. I have to remind myself that it does exist.
I believe that we choose people who help us grow as individuals. They challenge us and bring awareness to lessons that we are suppose to learn. If your spouse has an affair, then maybe it’s another person’s time to venture on that path and learn their own lessons.
What divorce has taught me, is that nothing is permanent. We must live in the moment and be grateful for what we have every single day. If we project into the future, then there is the possibility that we are setting ourselves up for disappointment. If we dwell on the past, then we can never move forward.
Reflecting on, and learning from our past lessons teaches us to be better human beings. That new knowledge helps us grow as individuals so we won’t repeat the same mistakes over and over again. It is terrifying throwing yourself back into the ring of love, but the warm feeling of love makes it worth it. Getting into a new relationship takes a leap of faith. It takes courage. And most importantly, TRUST. Trusting in the process of love and having faith that everything is going to work out just fine.