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8 Ways of Coping With the Feelings of Failure

One of the hardest things about coming to terms with divorce is addressing the “feelings of failure.” You might be asking yourself…Why couldn’t we make this work? What happened? Sometimes both parties will feel like they have failed, but the person who has been dumped usually takes on the burden of the responsibility.

The mind filters through some basic questions…What did I do wrong? How am I going to tell my parents?  When did it all fall apart? Why didn’t I see it coming? Is this really happening?

How do I get past these feelings?

Be Open and Honest with Yourself. When you’re ready to be honest with yourself and others, you’d be surprised how supportive people are…

Remember…You’re NOT a Failure. The simple truth is that you fell in love and now both parties have parted ways.

Take Responsibility. The two of you fell in love which means that you both had a role in the relationship so take responsibility. Going through a break-up forces you to look at yourself. Once you can look at the relationship objectively, there is usually a lesson to be learned. Embrace and acknowledge the lesson.

Time Truly Heals the Heart. Have reasonable expectations for yourself. Life is hard right now but know that you will overcome this negative experience in time.

Stay Positive. Write down positives and negatives. What you liked about the relationship and what you didn’t like.  Acknowledge them both. This will help you figure out what you want in your next relationship.

Write Down Everything You Deserve.  “I deserve..” is always a good sentence starter.  When you’re ready…beautiful things will come into your life.

Put Your Needs First.  As humans we are naturally doers and live our life responsibly. We tend to put others first. This is a time to ask yourself…What do I want?

Visualize a New You. Take steps to be that person that you’ve always wanted to be and you will move your life in that direction.

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